Our Simple Plan
by InMySoul
Summary: Clary is a meek scared girl new to town and school. Her life is a wreck and spiraling to a disastrous end. Jace is the biggest asshole in the universe with a serious attitude problem and an issue with authority and feelings. He's toeing the line of jail and ruining his life and if he's not careful he'll end up just like his dad. But can a tiny red-head save him? All-Human, AU, ABUS
1. Chapter 1: Astronaut

**SO I started this whole thing but somehow it vanished because life is a bitch like that.**

**Anyways, sorry for the yearlong hiatus or whatever, I kinda got into my own story, drama with school and bullying and with the fanfiction removing the M rating thing I was kinda just not interested.**

**But in the meantime my friend finally beat the friendzone and we just passed out 6 months ^.^ **

**He's British and has cute glasses and looks very nice in sweaters y'all should be jelly.**

**But anyways, Imma jump on the TMI abuse bandwagon and write my own Clace fic!**

**TMI chars don't belong to me except for the ones who aren't part of the series. And let's face it. If I owned Jace and Clary we would have gotten our god-damned fucking sex scene by now. Along with about 60 more ;) Anyhoodle-doodles here's the re-type of what I had already started.**

**Fuck you computer.**

**Oh and the story title is based off of Simple Plan cause I was listening to their music while writing. Hopefully I'll have a song for each chapter**

**This one is Astronaut and is fucking amazing go listen now kthxbai**

**Also, I'm going to try to average at least 1k words per chapter (lolyeahright)**

_Can anybody hear me?_

_Or am I talking to myself?_

_My mind is running empty_

_In the search for someone else_

_Who doesn't look right through me._

_It's all just static in my head_

_Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?_

_'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut_

_Sending SOS from this tiny box_

_And I lost all signal when I lifted up_

_Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot_

_Can I please come down?_

_'Cause I'm tired of drifting around and round_

_Can I please come down?_

_I'm deafened by the silence_

_Is it something that I've done?_

_I know that there are millions_

_I can't be the only one who's so disconnected_

_It's so different in my head._

_Can anybody tell me why I'm lonely like a satellite?_

_'Cause tonight I'm feeling like an astronaut_

_Sending SOS from this tiny box_

_And I lost all signal when I lifted up_

_Now I'm stuck out here and the world forgot_

_Can I please come down? _

_'Cause I'm tired of drifting around and round _

_Can I please come down?_

_Now I lie awake and scream in a zero gravity_

_And it's starting to weigh down on me._

_Let's abort this mission now_

_Can I please come down?_

**Clary POV**

A new day. A new school. Three new burns. Brushing my unruly locks of red hair out of my face I tugged my sleeves down lower over my arms, feeling the fabric scrape deliciously against them, sending flares of pain shooting through them and I closed my eyes, smiling slightly at the sting.

Keeping my eyes closed I ran through my mental checklist for what I had done that morning and what I still needed to do.

I knew for sure that I had made Moms breakfast, leaving it on her bedside table and taking out the picked at food from the night before. I'd washed the dishes and put the new loads of clothes in the washer and dryer. I'd vacuumed and made sure the knife drawer was locked tight and the key hidden. When I got home I'd need to get moms dinner, clear out her plate from that morning, do the dishes again possibly and then head off to work until 10. When I got home I'd need to do the bills and fold the clothes, feed myself if we had the food and it wasn't too late and finally do my homework before going to bed.

Opening them again, satisfied that I had remembered everything; I entered the front office of the school and went up to the lady at the front desk. I could vaguely hear a voice shouting from behind a door labeled Principals office and I winced in sympathy for the poor kid that was subject to his wrath.

I smiled nervously and waited for her to notice me

She looked up with a kind smile and I relaxed slightly "Clarissa Fray?"

I nodded, ignoring the shouting and took the schedule that she held out to me, bending my head down and scanning my classes

**Period 1: AP Lit. – Mr. Garroway, Room 213**

** Period 2: Pre-Calc. – Mrs. Blackwell, Room 306**

** Period 3: Gym – Mr. Starkweather, Room 117**

** Period 4: AP Art - Mrs. Fairchild, Room 203**

** Period 5: Lunch/Studyhall – Mr. Panghorn, Café/Room 338**

** Period 6: AP Chemistry. – Mr. Verlac**

I chewed my lip nervously. I knew I had signed up for a lot of advanced classes this year and was worried how I'd be able to keep up in them all. But I needed to do well. I needed to be noticed if I ever wanted a shot and even applying for college. I'd need a full scholarship.

God knew mom wasn't going to be able to pay for it. And Dad was still….gone on business…

I shook my head and smiled a shy thanks at the lady at the front desk and then jumped as the principal's door slammed open and a lion strode out.

Okay, not an actual Lion. It was a boy, but to my artists mind the only thing I could think of was the giant fierce golden cat. Because this boy was all gold as well. He was beautiful in fact.

Unruly dirty blonde curls that looked baby-soft and blazing golden eyes and Greek god bronzed skin, he oozed confidence and the fierce predatory violence of a Lion. And at the moment, anger.

"Mr. Wayland this is the _last time_ something like this can happen! Do you under-" The principal shouted but was interrupted by the boy who whirled on the older man, his lip curled in arrogant disgust

"It's Jace Lightwood. Not Wayland. Call me by my damned name or don't expect me to listen to your annoying voice" He growled and I shrank back, awed and taken aback by the life the boy, Jace, had brought into the room the moment he had strode into the room.

The principal sputtered for a moment, clearly as taken aback as I was by Jaces rudeness and arrogance before noticing me. His eyes lit up

"Mrs. Fray. You must be the new girl! We are so pleased to have you join our happy family here at Idris High! I'm sorry I wasn't able to greet you at once, I was" He fixed Jace with a withering glare who rolled his eyes, lounging against the wall " needed to deal with some unsavory business first. However, I'm sure Mr. _Wayland_ here would be more than happy to escort you throughout your day."

I paled, looking at the boy, both transfixed and terrified by him. "O-oh n-no sir, that's very kind of you b-but I'm sure I can f-figure it out by mysel-"

He cut me off, waving his hands and beaming "Nonsense, nonsense! Mr. Wayland himself needs to be getting off to class and we wouldn't want you getting lost now would we?"

As if that settled the matter he turned and went back into his office, shutting the door on my protests and leaving me in the room with the Lion boy. The secretary had left somewhere in the shouting.

I swallowed, staring at him and clutching my pendant that my brother had given me when we were kids.

"Oh for chrissakes I'm not going to eat you" Jace snapped, walking over and ripping my schedule out of my hands and looked at it, his lip curling "What are you, some kind of genius?" he said scornfully "or just a suckup?"

My mouth opened in closed "I-I''

"Nevermind. I don't really care anyways," He said, cutting me off and handed my schedule to me again and I took it meekly "Come on. Wouldn't want you late on your first day. What a _tragedy_ that would be" He sneered and started walking out the door

"Oh, I almost forgot" He said, stopping at the doorway and turned back to face the principal's office "Hey Mr. Johnsons!" The door opened the and his furious red face peered out "It's LIGHTWOOD _you fat fuck_" Jace said, grinning widely and then shoved me out into the hall, closing the door on the mans beet red face.

Okay. Now I was REALLY alone with him. Just my luck to get landed with the biggest asshole of the school. Not to mention he practically bit my head off for existing.

I reached my hand into my pocket, grasping my lighter and sighed as I felt it's familiar comforting shape. It didn't matter what he did to me really. I'd just burn the pain away until I was numb.

**Oh Jace. How I love you. R&R if you want more please! I LOVE YOU ALL PLEASE LOVE ME BACK IM LONELY OK**


	2. Chapter 2: Worst Day Ever

**So I'm bored and am going to write some more. Let's aim for 1k words again eh?**

**Thanks to LittleMissAngel and Physalie00 for reviewing and for everyone who followed!**

**REVIEW YOU ASSHOLES /3**

**Disclaimer: If I owned TMI Jace would spend most of his time either wounded or in heavily sexual situations with Clary. So obviously I don't. Sadly.**

**Cassandra Clare give is Clace sex plz.**

**Up this time is Worst Day Ever! **

6 a.m.

The clock is ringing

I need to spend an hour snoozing

'Cause I don't think I'm gonna make it

I punch in

I'm still sleeping

Watch the clock,

But it's not moving

'Cause every day is never ending

I need to work I'm always spending

And I feel like

I'm living the worst day

Over and over again

And I feel like the summer is leaving again

I feel like

I'm living the worst day

I feel like you're gone

And every day is the worst day ever

Yesterday was the worst day ever

And tomorrow won't be better

It's history repeating (on and on)

Summer plans are gone forever

I traded them in for dishpan water

And every day is never ending

I need to work I'm always spending

**Jace POV**

Looking back at the girl I rolled my eyes. Okay yeah maybe I was a little pissy but it's not like I was about to toss her into a wall and stab her five billion times, as her expression would suggest she thought I was going to do.

Nope, that was my dad's job to do to women. Ha ha.

I ran my eyes over her body expertly, taking in her entire midget form. Because damn she was small. Probably barely reached four feet, making her almost two feet shorter than my towering 6'2". Wonder what she'd look like next to Alec.

Deliciously curved hips were somewhat ruined by the fact that her chest was on the small size but whatever. Butt and Boobs were equally great in my book; both good for grabbing if you know what I mean. Super pale skin was speckled with thousands of adorable freckles especially across her pixie-nose. Her eyes were emerald green and gigantic in a very attractive innocent way that totally made me want to see if there was a hidden naughty side to her.

I bet there was. I bet she'd be a little wildcat in bed. Probably used her nails too. I smirked at the thought, licking my lips.

Her hair was a mass of red curls and waves that were both wild but not unattractively frizzy, framing her heart face and pouty lips that were already swollen from biting her lips. Probably would be what they looked like if I had a go at them.

She was gorgeous in a plain way, appealing in a sense that perked a guy's curiosity.

And I was totally willing to find out the truth about her.

Turning my charming grin on full force I held my hand out "Sorry about that, Teachers get on my nerves. I'm the one and only Jace Lightwood."

She hesitantly reached out to take my hand and I blinked in surprise. Her tiny fingers were ice cold in my grip and I frowned, looking at them "Jesus girl, you're about to get frostbite" I commented and she blushed bright red, yanking her hand away and wrapping her arm around herself protectively. I chuckled in amusement but at the same time felt a flash of confusion. How was she not at all affected by the famed Jace charm?

I mentally shrugged. Whatever, I could get in her pants if I really wanted to, whether she was drooling over me or not.

And Maybe I would just for the challenge. I always did love a challenge and I could tell she would definitely be one.

Game on.

**Clary POV**

I stared incredulously at the boy before me whose personality seemed to have taken a complete 180 degree turn in the span if three seconds.

Hugging my big blue sweatshirt close to me – it still smelled of Simon- I eyed him warily as he eyed me up and down like a piece of meat and shifted uncomfortably, getting the feeling that I was being mentally undressed.

And as he noticed the look he gave me seemed to suggest my suspicion was correct

"So I guess I'll call you Little Red since you're a midget and never told me your name" He said, watching me with an infuriatingly cocky smirk on his face

"Clary. Clary Fray" I said quietly, gripping the lighter in my pocket tightly and taking a step back, my face bright red.

He laughed and shrugged "Whatever. I like my name better. So anyways. You have Garroway first period. He's down the hall to the left and on the right side. Can't miss it. He's okay if you like dumb shit like reading and stuff" He sneered and I bristled slightly

"I do like reading" I snapped and then blinked, blushing and looking down

He snorted with laughter and clapped a hand on my shoulder "Well excuuuse me then"

His hand came right down on one of my burns and I yelped in pain, yanking away from his touch and holding my shoulder

There was a moment of silence as we stared at each other, his face furrowed in confusion

"You okay there little Red? I didn't hit you that hard" He said slowly, advancing on me and fixing his eyes on my shoulder and then running over my body as if searching for something.

I backed away from his scrutiny. This examination was different from the first one. And this one I liked even less.

"Uh..yeah..s-sorry about that. I um hit my shoulder this morning and it's still kind of tender so yeah that's it. Just a bruise and all. I'm a bit clumsy so yeah. It's just a bruise…." I said quickly and blushed in mortification as his look of amused disbelief

"You're a shit liar" He said calmly and I blushed again, reaching up to brush my hair out of my face again that had fallen when I had yanked away from his touch.

And Simons god-damned sweatshirt sleeve that I had always been too big me slipped down to my elbow, baring my scars and burns.

Even in death he was still making a mess of things.

My eyes widened and I rushed to cover my arm before he saw but of course I was too late

Like the lion he resembled, his golden eyes missed nothing and they widened. He snatched my wrist and I flinched at the pressure, causing him to instantly gentle his touch.

"What…the hell…?" He said, looking up from the marks to my face, which was frozen with shock and terror. "Who did this?!"

I yanked my arm out of his grasp, well aware that if he wanted to keep hold he could have. But thankfully he let go and I yanked my sleeve back down

"Thanks for telling me where Mr. Garrowways class is Jace. I'll be fine by myself for the rest of the day. Have a nice afternoon" I rushed out and then raced down the hallway away from him, leaving the Golden Boy staring after me

**Huzzah this one is a bit longer! ^.^ Anyhoodles Jace's POV seems a little disjointed to me. I dunno. Opinions?**

**REVIEW SO I DON'T CRY MYSELF TO SLEEP FROM LONLIENESS PLEASE. I LOVE YOU ALL.**


	3. Chapter 3: Crazy

**Damn I am on a roll lawl! So here's chapter three. I'm going to try to make it long and do scene cuts instead of ending the chapter right at a dramatic moment like I usually do XD**

**And to clear a few things up,**

**Yes Simon is dead and won't be an active part of this story except in flashbacks.**

**Jocelyn is NOT Clary's mom or related to her in any way.**

** Jace's father is Michael Wayland, not Valentine or whatever**

** Jonathon will also not be present as he is also dead and is Clary's older brother**

** Clary's dad is Valentine but I'm not sure whether he'll be part of the story or not**

** So yeah that's about it.**

**We learn a bit about Jaces past in this though so yayyyy**

**For chapter three we've got *****drumroll***** CRAZY! 3**

_Tell me what's wrong with society_

_When everywhere I look, I see_

_Young girls dying to be on TV_

_They won't stop till they've reached their dreams_

_Diet pills, surgery_

_Photoshopped pictures in magazines_

_Telling them how they should be_

_It doesn't make sense to me_

_Is everybody going crazy?_

_Is anybody gonna save me?_

_Can anybody tell me what's going on?_

_Tell me what's going on?_

_If you open your eyes_

_You'll see that something is wrong_

_I guess things are not how they used to be_

_There's no more normal families_

_Parents act like enemies_

_Making kids feel like it's World War III_

_No one cares, no one's there_

_I guess we're all just too damn busy_

_And money's our first priority_

_It doesn't make sense to me_

_Is everybody going crazy?_

_Is anybody gonna save me?_

_Can anybody tell me what's going on?_

_Tell me what's going on?_

_If you open your eyes_

_You'll see that something is wrong_

_Is everybody going crazy?_

_Is everybody going crazy?_

_Tell me what's wrong with society_

_When everywhere I look I see_

_Rich guys driving big SUVs_

_While kids are starving in the streets_

_No one cares_

_No one likes to share_

_I guess life's unfair_

**Jace POV**

I sat at my desk, frowning down at my lazily scribbled notes, thinking about the girl.

First she'd flinched in pain when I touched her shoulder and then the burns on her arms. I pushed my own long sleeves back slightly, looking at the faded circular burns that my dad had made with his cigarette when he went through his fire phase of killing.

Hers weren't in the shape of a circle but you could burn people with anything that was able to be heated up. And there was no way it was an accident.

**Clary POV**

I came up to the classroom door and paused, chaking myself over to make sure I looked fine, none of my scars were showing and that nothing was unticked or out of place. My hair was probably a mess but there wasn't much I could do about that.

With a deep breath I opened the door and stepped in. Mr. Garroway looked up instantly from the book he had been reading, a slightly puzzled look on his face before it cleared and he gave a warm smile.

"Clarissa Fray I assume?" He said, his voice not loud, but noticeable. He came over and shook my hand kindly

"Just Clary please" I said shyly, smiling at him, liking his face. It was kind and fatherly and I instantly felt safe in this classroom.

He let go of my hand and pointed to a desk in the middle of the room "Why don't you go over and sit by Isabelle. I've heard you're a good student in Literature and maybe you'll help Isabelle get her grade up. God knows I've tried everything under the sun" He said, his tone light and teasing

I looked where he was pointing and saw a gorgeous girl much taller than me with brown eyes, long black hair and the body of a model.

"That hurts Garroway, it really does. And here I thought I was finally doing well!" She said with a cheeky grin "But hey, a student is only as good as the teacher so…."

Mr. Garroway laughed "Quiet you before I have to get the principal down here" He said good naturedly and gently pushed me over to Isabelles desk.

I sat down slowly, setting my books down and gave Isabelle a tentative smile, not sure how she would treat me. Pretty girls either didn't notice me or tormented me and I was wary to see which one she would do.

However to my surprise, she gave me a big smile and held her hand out

"Isabelle Lightwood" She said, shaking my hand and I blinked

"Lightwood? You don't look like your brother though…."

Isabelle frowned in confusion and then her face cleared before shifting to a look of caution "Oh. You mean Jace"

I nodded, looking down "Yeah…he uh…was in the office"

Another girl with chocolate brown hair and eyes turned around with a grin "Oh I heard about that! Apparantly Mr. High and Mighty keyed some dudes car after the big fight they got into last week" She whispered and then smiled at me "Hi, I'm Maia. You're welcome to any boy here except that cutie across the room" She said, pointing out a boy with ark brown hair and a nice tan who grinned back at Maia, winking

"That's my man there, Jordan Kyle so hands off okay?"

I nodded, biting back a smile at how friendly these girls were being to me. I had gotten so used to pitying looks and uncomfortable conversations I had almost forgetten what this was like.

"So…uh…yeah uhm Mr. Johnsons told Jace to show me around" I said and then had to smile at Isabelles snort of amusement

"And how did that go?" She asked

"He insulted the principal then me and then the fact I was in AP classes" I said and then smiled wider as Isabelle giggled

"Oh that is so like him! And guess what? Half of Jaces classes are AP!"

"really?" I asked, not pegging him as the type to really be into school

"Yeah. God knows how he manages to stay in them. He never does any of the work" Maia said with an eye roll and Isabelle nodded with agreement.

"Ladies, when you're ready" Mr. Garroway said, chuckling.

Isabelle was silent for a minute and then said "Okay we're ready now" inciting laughter from the entire class including Mr. Garroway who just shook his head and turned to the board

Just before he started talking Isabelle leaned over to whisper in my ear "Clary? Try to stay away from my brother okay? He can be cruel sometimes…and he's just trouble, as much as I love the bastard"

I blinked and nodded slightly, already having planned on avoiding him after what he had seen.

At least that was the plan.

My plan was going perfectly. Up until Gym class. I had just left the girls bathroom where I had changed instead of the locker room to avoid anyone seeing my burns when I noticed a flash of gold in my peripheral vision.

God damnit.

**I'm opening this up to type again and the Amber Alert notification goes off on my phone **** Hope they find the poor babies**. ** Later Update. Grandmother took the kids and killed them and herself. **

**Anyways, crazy cunts aside, I was planning on writing more to this chapter but felt bad for not updating and I'm kinda stuck on what to do so I need to brainstorm so yeah**

**R&R BECAUSE MY BOYFRIEND LIVES ACROSS THE OCEAN SO IM LONELY ALL THE TIME AND I NEED LOVE.**


	4. Chapter 4: When I'm Gone

**Greetings all! So this is (hopefully) going to be a very long and depressing chapter filled with angst, tears, self-mutilation and the dark twisted pasts of our favorite victims! Lol**

**So up this time is When I'm Gone by (of course) Simple Plan! 3 **

**Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooO**

_We're doing it._

_I look around me,_

_But all I seem to see,_

_Is people going no where,_

_Expecting sympathy._

_It's like we're going through the motions,_

_Of a scripted destiny._

_Tell me where's our inspiration,_

_If life wont wait,_

_I guess it's up to me._

_Woah!_

_No, we're not gonna waste another moment in this town._

_Woah!_

_And we won't come back your world is calling out._

_Woah!_

_We'll leave the past in the past,_

_Gonna find the future._

_If misery loves company well,_

_So long, you'll miss me when I'm gone._

_Ooh, ooh, ooh._

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone._

_Ooh, ooh, ooh._

_Procrastination, running circles in my head._

_While you sit there contemplating,_

_You wound up left for dead (left for dead)_

_Life is what happens while you're busy making your excuses._

_Another day, another casualty._

_And that won't happen to me._

_Ooh, ooh, ooh._

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone._

_Ooh, ooh, ooh._

_You're gonna miss me when I'm gone._

_When I'm gone-_

_Let's go!_

_Won't look back,_

_When I say goodbye._

_I'm gonna leave this a hole behind me,_

_Gonna take what's mine tonight._

_Because every wasted day becomes a wasted chance._

_You're gonna wake up feeling sorry,_

_Because life wont wait,_

_I guess it's up to you._

**Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooO**

_ Just before he started talking Isabelle leaned over to whisper in my ear "Clary? Try to stay away from my brother okay? He can be cruel sometimes…and he's just trouble, as much as I love the bastard"_

_I blinked and nodded slightly, already having planned on avoiding him after what he had seen._

_At least that was the plan._

_My plan was going perfectly. Up until Gym class. I had just left the girls bathroom where I had changed instead of the locker room to avoid anyone seeing my burns when I noticed a flash of gold in my peripheral vision._

_God damnit._

**CLARY POV**

I quickly side-stepped behind a group of girls, hoping he hadn't seen me.

God I hope he didn't see me.

From the look in his eyes and his words I'd known he thought someone was hurting me. Someone was doing this to me.

He'd be disgusted if he found out I was doing it to myself. Anyone would be.

And it was disgusting. It was sick and twisted and ugly and wrong. But I was so fucked up it was the only thing that helped. I was fucked up in the head so I took it out on my skin with the sweet sting of fire and metal, branding my pain and my sins into my flesh.

I wondered what Simon would say if he saw me now.

I almost choked on a laugh. He'd be so pissed at me. His face would get all red and he'd shake so hard that his glasses would keep slipping off his nose, making him have to stop every few moments to shove them back in place.

That had always been enough to end any argument. I'd end up laughing at how adorable and silly Simon looked angry and he'd end up laughing with me.

/FLASHBACK/

I looked up from where I had been drawing to see Simon stomp over, his face in a deep scowl "Clary!"

I sighed, standing up and put my hands on my hips, looking up at his annoyingly tall height. "What Simon?"

He came to a stop right in front of me, crossing his arms. His face was already tomato red at this point. "You forgot!" He said angrily

I rolled my eyes "I didn't forget that we were going to the movies. I FORGOT to tell you that I had a change of plans!"

"You ditched me for Vincent Calvani!" He growled

"He asked me out! I'm not going to just say no to him. I'm not going to spend my entire Highschool career single!"

"But WE had plans" He said, hurt showing through his anger as he shoved his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. Good lord he looked adorable right then.

"I'm allowed to have a life outside of hanging out with you!" I said and then bit my lip against a grin as he shoved his glasses back up.

His face morphed into annoyance and he gripped his glasses, holding them in place "Oh no! Don't you start laughing at me again!" He said, his lips twitching "Stop! Clary we are fighting stop making me laugh!"

I broke into giggles, shaking my head "Sorry Si, but I just can't keep a straight face when yours turns into a tomato"

"I do NOT look like a tomato Clarissa Fray you take that back or I will replace your shampoo with bleach again!" He said indignantly, still laughing

"Go ahead. If you want your clothes to magically all turn pink again Mr. Fairy"

"You're gunna get it now Fray!"

/SWITCHFLASHBACK/

I sat curled up in Simons lap, eating a bowl of ice cream as we watched Pride and Prejudice.

"I just don't get it!" I said, gesturing at the TV with my spoon

"get what?" Simon asked, leaning forwards to lick the remaining ice cream off the spoon and earning a light rap on his nose in punishment

"He confesses his love to her while insulting her! He basically says he's too good for her and he doesn't want to love her" I exclaimed, waving my spoon and turning to Simon who looked at me with a tender smile

"We can't help who we fall in love with Clary" He said quietly and I stilled, looking at him as the heat rose in my cheeks

"Si…?"

"Please don't rip the family jewels off for this" He said with a slight smile and then leant in, pressing his lips softly to mine.

The bowl fell to the floor as unnoticed as the movie now was

/SWITCHFLASHBACK/

_it was night and it was raining. Jonathon was driving. We knew we shouldn't have been out. Damnit we knew._

_But we were just kids, invincible in our youth._

_We were stupid._

_Jonathon turned to laugh at something I said. Simon pulled my closer to his chest, running his fingers gently through my hair._

_There was a flash of light_

_The squeal of brakes_

_Smell of burned rubber and blood_

_Screams_

_Pain_

_Thunderous noise_

_Weightlessness_

_The rain._

_It was cold_

_Simon?_

_Simon, Jonathon! Where are you?!_

_OH GOD SIMON, JONATHON!_

_Please be okay!_

_I NEED YOU_

_Please_

_DON'T GO_

_DON'T LEAVE ME_

_PLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEA SEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPLEASEPL EASE!_

/ENDFLASHBACKS/

With a gasp I tore myself from the memories, a strangled cry escaping from my throat.

Everyone turned to look at me and I backed away, shaking my head.

I turned and ran, tears pouring down my cheeks.

I needed my special medicine.

Make it go away….please…

**Well I wanted to type more but I feel like this was where it needed to end so I'll try and do another chapter but meh. At least it's something!**


	5. Chapter 5: Pretty Little Girl

**HOLA. Okay so now we're going to get a glimpse of Jace's past and hopefully we'll have some heart to heart.**

**Now, they're going to get close in this chapter but only because Jace wants to help and because he understands her pain. There's no romantic feelings yet even though it might seem this way **

**Also I'm going to mix in Blink 182 because I need more songs and they are a lot like Simple Plan genre-wise **

**So, here is Pretty Little Girl by Blink 182 whose lead singer is really fucking hot**

**Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo oooooO**

_Nineteen your eyes are glowing into my beating heart_

_Oh it seems like it is fine as my hand is moving up your arm_

_And you never really know where it goes up until it starts_

_I've got my eye on you, whatcha gonna do?_

_Day dream near a stream with a winter bite_

_Oh, I listen to the song on repeat from the other night_

_And I can't picture you but I sure got the feelin' right_

_What a crazy world, pretty little girl_

_And we wake from the night in a bed with a bruise_

_And we're laughing out loud over the craziest news_

_When you reach for my hand I was scared in your room_

_We fell on the floor and we started to move_

_And your hands were like birds as they flew from the coop_

_Up my back they would climb just as I came unglued_

_She said if you break my heart then I'll change your mind_

_And I'll do it again_

_If you play the part then I will play mine_

_And I'll do it again_

_If we miss the mark if we hold on tight_

_We'll be there to try it again_

_Nineteen as we roll across the bedroom floor_

_Your eyes they came alight as you're dreaming of our future home_

_And the kids are growing up as you and I we are growing old_

_What a crazy world, pretty little girl_

_In the rain with a drink from the back of the bar_

_I'm raising my voice, you raise it up more_

_We forget that our lives have been apart it is hard_

_We thought we are close but it still feels far_

_And we learn to get by if we learn to have scars_

_We learn to forgive and accept who we are_

_You said if you break my heart then I'll change your mind_

_And I'll do it again_

_If you play the part then I will play mine_

_And I'll do it again_

_If we miss the mark if we hold on tight_

_We'll be there to do it again_

_Wait a minute hold up a second_

_Don't leave me here with this feelin_

_Like I'm the one for regrettin_

_Like I never did coke for a spoke_

_Like I never did pulled out that weapon_

_And stick that knife through my back_

_Was I supposed to accept it when your words are like_

_More than just sticks and stones kinda like a bullet_

_I don't tip that lies in my bones and I can't just swallow it_

_My pride is more than all that I own so I gotta give it away_

_Some of the times I'm all the way wrong but can't you see past_

_Me and see my fucked up home that made me the meanest_

_The devil is just singin along to the song I write to alone at night_

_And I hang up the phone and bite my tongue_

_Cause I know that me and you is just only right, but one…_

_It's a cry from the past we have been through a lot_

_Every year has been great and a few have been tough_

_And the kids they will reach for the stars up above_

_I said relax we cheer in the morrow_

_All the ropes to the life from the crypt to the grave_

_We started alone in the end we're okay_

_You said if you break my heart then I'll change your mind_

_And I'll do it again_

_If you play the part then I will play mine_

_And I'll do it again_

_If we miss the mark if we hold on tight_

_We'll be there to try it again_

**Oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooooooooooooooooO**

**JACE POV**

I was lounging against the gym wall, talking to Alec and looking over the girls that would be in my Gym class this year. Definitely some chests I'd need to be keeping an eye on while we're moving around.

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed a familiar flash of orange and turned my head, seeing the girl from earlier. It took me a moment to remember her name. It wasn't exactly what I had been focusing on. More on the condition of her arms.

Currently her face was going through a spasm of emotions, from amusement to shock, pain, grief and finally terror.

The last four I knew quite well.

With a gasp she whirled on her feet and darted out the doors, attracting the attention of everyone was they slammed shut.

Without thinking I took off after her.

Skidding into the main hallway I looked around, frowning trying to figure out which way she had gone. The girl was fast for someone with such short legs.

I heard a door slam and grinned slightly. Gotcha. I followed the noise and came to a sudden stop in front of the girls bathroom, my face paling. Of course she would go in there. Of course she would go in the goddamned school bathroom. The one place I had never gone.

The one place I couldn't bring myself to go.

-FLASHBACK-

The gun was giant and incredibly heavy in my 11-year-old hand. Tucking it into my front pocket and zipping up my jacket I joined the crowd of students streaming into the school.

A few people stared at me and I didn't blame them.

I looked a mess, my hands shaking and my eyes red and wild from tears and fear. My hands were shaking violently and my skin was as pale as the bodies in my dads shed.

I shoved my stuff into my locker, gulping for air and ignoring the people saying hello to me.

I couldn't hear right

Couldn't see straight

Couldn't think straight.

I was only aware of the deadly weight in my pocket; the cool metal reassuring me that things would be over soon. Things would be okay and I'd be out of here.

The bell rang for first period and the kids filed into the classrooms but I ignored it, going to the boy's bathroom and leaning against the wall, my heart thudding erratically.

I waited impatiently for everyone to leave and then flipped the lock on the door, turning to look at myself in the mirror.

My eyes were those of a cornered animal, crazed with fear and the desire to escape.

A small whimper escaped my mouth as I looked away from my reflection, unable to look into her eyes anymore.

I had to do this.

I was done.

Maybe it would stop it

Make the pain go away and the screams go away

Maybe I would go to hell

Although I couldn't see how it could be any worse than where I was right now.

I pulled the gun out, looking down at the shiny black metal and pressed it between my eyes, closing them and putting my finger on the trigger and took a deep breath.

I couldn't do it. My finger refused to listen.

A soft wail of anguish and frustration escaped me as I paced in front of the mirror, clenching the gun and choking with sobs.

After a moment I turned to the mirror again and opened my mouth, putting the gun inside.

The tears streaked hotly down my cheeks as I stared at my reflection, letting the self-loathing fill me.

I bit down on the muzzle of the gun in frustration, my teeth grinding painfully

COME ON YOU COWARD

DO IT

FUCKING WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT

I gave a scream of anger and agony, yanking the gun from my mouth and leveling it at the mirror and pulling the trigger twice in quick succession.

The noise was so much louder than I expected but even so I could hear the glass of the mirror shatter, falling to the floor in billions of pieces.

I fell to my knees, the glass slicing through my jeans and skin, blood soaking the floor.

There were shouts and running feet and the sound of someone banging on the door.

I ignored it as I cradled the gun, rocking back and forth on the glass as I moaned in agony of how much f a coward I was.

I don't know how long I stared like that but the sound of the door being knocked open caused me to open my eyes turn my head.

The police were there, guns drawn and pointing at me, a few teachers huddled behind them.

"Put the gun down son" One of them said and I shook my head, pressing my lips together to keep in the sobs

"Son. Nobody needs to get hurt. Just put down the gun."

Somebody had already gotten hurt. I was already hurt.

I gave a ragged sob, the force of it causing my throat to sting.

"She's already been hurt you idiots!" I whispered "I've gotta make it right!"

'What are you talking about son? Come on, put the gun down and we can talk about this." The policeman said, lowering his gun and stepping forewords.

I recognized him as one of the fathers of two kids here. I wondered if he hurt his kids.

"Stay away from me!" I snarled, scrambling backwards from his tough and gripping the gun harder

"Tell us what's going on son. Let us help" The guy said, his eyes sad and kind

"He hurt her. He killed her" I said, my voice dead "I let him. I always let him. He kills them all. He makes me watch. He MADE ME WATCH"

I couldn't breathe.

I had to breathe

I needed to let the pressure out. It hurt. Too much. Couldn't breath. Had to let it out!

I gave a scream of anger and put the gun under my chin, tightening my finger on the trigger.

The police man jumped foreword with a shout that was drowned out by the sound of the gun as the third bullet left the chamber and entered my skull

-END FLASHBACK-

I opened my eyes with a gasp; sweat trickling from my eyes as I shoved away the memories, my body shaking.

I had to help her though.

I opened the door, my hands shaking almost too hard for me to hold the handle and walked inside, looking for the girl.

She was kneeling on the floor, her shirt yanked off and the glow of the flames of her lighter glinting on her face as she pressed her necklace to her wrist with a hissing sizzle.

I froze in my tracks.

**Well this is one way of sobbing about exams.**

**Review please! I'm LONELLYYYYY**


	6. Chapter 6: Hell Above

**Hi this won't be a long chapter because I'm just all burned out from having exams this week and just blaaaaahhh but I wanted to get something up I also have another story idea inspired by the short fic Letters by MaybeThere'sHope you should TOTALLY go check it out although Jace dies in it (it's a Malec fic so it's not focused around that haha**

**Thankfully we're done with flashbacks for now. They're such a pain in the ass to separate.**

**Anywaaayyyyssss, I'm losing songs to find so I'm just going to go with any artist but this will forever be inspired by Simple Plan so….yeah.**

**Up this time is Hell Above by Peirce the Veil**

**ALSO PLEASE GO CHECK OUT MY PACIFIC/TMI CROSSOVER FIC PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE. YOU DON'T NEED TO KNOW THE PLOT OF THE PACIFIC TO BE ABLE TO UNDERSTAND PLEASE GO READ IT AND LOVE IT**

**Again, sorry for uber-short chapter and it's going to be the same scene from both their POVS cause I think it's important to see what they're both thinking**

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooo oooo**

_I cannot spend another night in this home_

_I close my eyes and take a breath real slow_

_The consequence is if I leave I'm alone_

_But what's the difference when you beg for love?_

_As I run through the glass in the street_

_Kerosene hearts carry the name that my father gave me_

_And take the face of the wolf_

_'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat_

_With heaven above you, there's hell over me_

_I met a girl who never looked so alone_

_Like sugar water in your mouth luke warm_

_She tied a cherry stem for me with her tongue_

_We fell in love and now we're both alone_

'_Cause I don't need any more friends_

_And another kiss like a fire on pavement_

_We'll burn it down to the end_

_Oh, oh_

_'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat_

_With heaven above you, there's hell over me_

_The water is rusted, the air is unclean._

_And there for a second I feel free_

_'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat_

_I've waited all this night to honor you and say,_

_"I know it's hard, but who are you to fall apart on me, on me?"_

_'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat_

_With heaven above you, there's hell over me_

_'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat_

_With heaven above you, there's hell over me_

_You said what about us, well what about me?_

_Hang from the gallows, asleep in the rain_

_'Cause this is a wasteland, my only retreat_

_Paralyze me_

_Don't let me jump, don't let me fall_

**oooooooooooooooooooooooooOOO OOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo**

**JACE**

The sight before me was incredibly erotic in a morbid way that both fascinated me and made me feel sick.

Clary's head was thrown back, her lips parted in a silent moan of pleasure or relief. Her eyes were closed, her eyelashes casting deep shadows across her pale freckled skin. Her small chest heaved with pants and a light sheen of sweat covered her skin. It was beautiful and violent and I felt drawn to her in a primal way. I wanted to know what things I could do to elicit that response from her. I wanted to be the one to cause those moans and that dark pleasure. I wanted to know whether her skin would be just as ice cold as her hands or burning hot like the metal she held to her skin.

I would be okay with either. As long as I got a taste of that porcelain skin.

I watched with a dry mouth for a moment before remembering what it was that she was doing.

I lunged forewords and ripped the lighter out of her hands, grabbing her wrists to look at the new burns

"Jesus!" I murmured before looking up at her "What the hell are you doing?!"

She stared at me for a moment, her eyes wide and uncomprehending.

Then she slapped me.

"What am I doing?! What are YOU doing you ASSHOLE this is the GIRLS bathroom!" She screeched, scrambling for her sweatshirt.

I stared at her with my jaw open in shock for a moment before grabbing her wrists again "Stop! Calm down Clary"

"Let go of me!" She spat, yanking at her wrists and gasping in pain

I raised an eyebrow "That was a little dumb," I said "Now just calm down for a moment"

Her cheeks flushed with embarrassment and anger "Calm down!? CALM DOWN?! I am not going to CALM DOWN you asshat! Y-you had no right to come in here! You have no right to be touching me!" She spat, her voice stuttering with fear and rage. "And you've ruined everything! You have no idea what you've just done! You shouldn't have seen that you fucking jerk!"

I looked at her gently "Clary stop. I understand," I said quietly after a moment's hesitation.

Tears pooled and spilled down her cheeks as she looked at me incredulously "Now you're just making fun of me!" She hissed, her voice hopeless and dead "You're making fun of the crazy girl who hurts herself because she sees things! You're going to laugh and are going to tell everyone! Of course you don't fucking understand! What in the name of god could ever have gone wrong in your life?!" She shook her head, eyes sparking in rage "Perfect little golden angel boy with his perfect siblings! I bet you guys have a big house too huh?! Big rich house with fancy-ass cars and maids and the whole thing!"

She wrenched her arms out of my grasp, standing, her voice choking up "What the hell would YOU fucking know about pain. And now you're going to go and tell people and ruin EVERYTHING" She hissed in contempt.

I felt a flash of anger at the way she was looking at me and talking to me. Like I was scum.

But I pushed it away. She was hurting and scared.

I stood slowly and took her hands in mine "Clary I'm not going to tell. And I do understand" I said softly

She looked at me in surprise "Y-you're not…?" She whispered

I nodded and she looked at me suspiciously

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

I froze for a moment. Should I tell her? How much should I tell her?

I'd just show her I finally decided and grabbed her hands again, brining one under my jaw and the other to rest behind me ear.

Her eyes widened in shock and her cheeks turned bright red in embarrassment and I would have laughed had we been in another situation

"What the hell does this pr-" She started and then stopped, her fingers probing gently at the twin circular scars, one on my jaw and the other beneath my hair.

I shivered slightly at her gentle touch, her cool fingers tempering the fire in my own body.

"Is-Is…..are those…?"

I nodded slightly, closing my eyes as I leant into her gentle touch.

It wasn't sexual. It was kind and gentle and wholly new to me.

I liked it.

**oooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOo oooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ooooo**

**CLARY**

I imagined I could hear the hiss as the pendant burned away the pain and the grief from my flesh, leaving behind a brand of punishment for me living on while they had died.

My atonement for my sins and my stupidity.

I tilted my head back with a silent moan of relief as the images faded, closing my eyes and relaxing. The only thing I could hear was my heart pounding in my ears and I focused on that. Focused on the fact that I was ALIVE. That this was real and I wasn't dreaming.

Suddenly a hand knocked the lighter and pendant out of my hands and gripped my wrists with an exclamation of "Jesus!"

The voice was low and masculine, the mocking tone that was usually in place not there.

"What the hell are you doing?!" The voice continued angrily and I opened my eyes to see Jace.

Fear and fury overwhelmed me and I ripped my hands from his grasp, striking him across the face

"What am I doing?! What are YOU doing you ASSHOLE this is the GIRLS bathroom!" I shouted, lunging for my sweatshirt to cover up my burns. I didn't know why since he obviously had seen them. I guess it was just habit.

He looked at me in utter disbelief, his cheek bright red where I had slapped him. It would have been comical in another circumstance, seeing the usually Cocky Jace at a loss.

"Stop! Calm down Clary" he said, taking my wrists

I suddenly couldn't stand his hands on me. I felt dirty and worthless. He shouldn't be touching trash like me. "Let go of me!" I spat, yanking back against his grip and then gasped as the brutally rough friction agitated my burns.

His eyebrow raised, a talent I had never mastered "That was a little Dumb. Now just calm down for a moment"

CALM DOWN?! He just barged in on me doing something so private, had put his hands all over me and HE WANTED ME TO CALM DOWN?!

"Calm down? CALM DOWN?! I am not going to CALM DOWN you asshat!" My voice stuttered with the force of my anger "Y-you had no right to come in here! You have no right to be touching me! And you've ruined everything! You have no idea what you've just done! You shouldn't have seen that you fucking jerk!"

His expression of amusement and disbelief gentled into one of understanding. It made me feel sick.

"Clary stop. I understand," He said quietly.

The anger and fear and grief finally spilled over my cheeks as my voice caught with sobs.

How DARE he pretend to understand the pain I was feeling?! How dare he claim to know what I was going through when he didn't know a THING about me?!

"Now you're just making fun of me! You're making fun of the crazy girl who hurts herself because she sees things! You're going to laugh and are going to tell everyone! Of course you don't fucking understand! What in the name of god could ever have gone wrong in your life?!" I shook my head in rage "Perfect little golden angel boy with his perfect siblings! I bet you guys have a big house too huh?! Big rich house with fancy-ass cars and maids and the whole thing!"

I wrenched my hands again and this time he let go. I scrambled to my feet, choking on my sobs "What the hell would YOU fucking know about pain. And now you're going to go and tell people and ruin EVERYTHING" I hissed in anger. He was just playing with me.

His face screwed up in anger for a moment, surprising me, before smoothing out again and he stood slowly, as if I was a cornered animal he didn't want to frighten.

He took my hands, his grip gentle and more intimate this time, causing a heat to build up in my neck "Clary I'm not going to tell. And I do understand"

My eyes widened in shock. He wasn't going to? "Y-you're not?" I whispered, scared of his answer.

He nodded and I felt a flash of suspicion.

I had known the guy for all of a day. How could I know whether he would keep his promise?

"How do I know you're telling the truth?"

His body stilled for a moment, indecision flashing across his face. His eyes darted back and forth, searching mine for an answer to a question I didn't know had been asked. Suddenly, he appeared to make a decision and lifted my hands, placing one under his jaw and the other behind his ear, right where I would have knotted my fingers had we been kissing.

I blushed hard at the thought and glared at him "What the hell does this pr-"

I stopped, feeling slight indentations under both my hands. I ran my fingers over them softly, ignoring his shiver and traced the shape.

Round symmetrical scars, one larger than the other.

I'd watched enough crime shows with Simon to identify an entry wound and exit wound.

But no way. No way had the confident boy from this morning ever tried to KILL himself!

It didn't fit with the image I had of him at all!

"Is-Is….are those…?" I stammered, unable to form the words to my thoughts.

He understood anyways and nodded.

The pressure against me hands increased as I felt his muscles relax, my hand on his jaw sliding to rest on his cheek.

He nuzzled it gently and I blinked in shock, the only thing I could think of was the image of a dog who hadn't known friendly hands suddenly being pet.

He had that same expression on his face I had seen in those abused canines at the shelter; one of wonder and fear.

Jace Lightwood had known the back of a hand and the force of a closed fist.

He had known it enough times to be this surprised by a gentle touch.

I guess he did understand

**AWEEEEEEEEEEEEE Yay for bonding over scars and haha I loved the beginning with Jace being slightly horny ;)**

**Review and maybe next chapter will contain Jace having a little problem that he solves ifyouknowwhatimean**


	7. Chapter 7: Important

hi guys sorry that this is an AN :(

I first off want to thank everyone for reviewing and following and faving and everything you guys kick ass!

HOWEVER. YOU LITTLE SHITS DIDN'T GO AND REVIEW MY OTHER CLACE FIC! I DIDN'T EVEN GET ANY VIEWS

SOOOOOOO BECAUSE I AM EVIL I'M NOT UPDATING OUR SIMPLE PLAN UNTIL I HAVE 10 REVIEWS ON THAT STORY :)

ALSO GO FUCKING CHECK OUT WARRIOR BY BETH CROWLEY SHE WROTE IT FOR THE COB MOVIE AND I FUCKING STARTED CRYING LISTENING TO IT BECAUSE OMFG FEELS AND AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

(CAN YOU TELL I DON'T HAVE ANY RL FRIENDS THAT READ TMI?!)

ALSO I HAVE AN IDEA FOR A ONE-SHOT LEMON OF CLACE WOULD ANYONE BE INTERESTED OR SHOULD I STAY AWAY FROM STRAIGHT UP SMUT FOR NOW?

FINALLY, GO CHECK OUT SWINCHE14'S FIC DESTROYING ANGELS IT'S FUCKING AMAZING ALTHOUGH WARNING FOR DAKR THEMES BUT ITS GREAT OK

SEE? I UPDATED SWINCHE TROLOLOLOL

I LIKE CAPS.


	8. Chapter 8: Landing In London

**So apparently you're supposed to write these after you've written the whole chapter? Ha. . **

**Sorry it's been so long since I've updated, I was sick this entire week and then today I went to visit a college and ughhhhh I hate long drives and sleeping in the car and ugh fuck my life.**

**Anyways Please go check out my Crossover fic pleeaaaseeeeee I'm quite excited about it **

**This chapter is going to be a bit happier than the last few hopefully although it's going to be really short because I just need some time to figure out where I want to go from here.**

**I'm listening to Goodbye My Lover and thinking about Malec and FUCKING HELL IT HURTS YOU GUYS 911 HELP**

**Anyway, this time we've got Landing in London by Three Doors Down**

**OOOOOO-LineBreak-OOOOOOOO**

_I woke up today in London_

_As the plane was touching down_

_All I could think about was Monday_

_Maybe I'd be back around_

_If this keeps me away much longer_

_I don't know what I will do_

_You've got to understand it's a hard life,_

_that I'm going through_

_And when the night falls in around me_

_I don't think I'll make it through_

_Ill use your light to guide the way_

_Cuz all I think about is you_

_L.A. is getting kind of crazy_

_And New York's getting kind of cold_

_I keep my head from getting lazy_

_I just can't wait to get back home_

_And all these days I spend away_

_Ill make up for this I swear_

_I need your love to hold me up_

_When it's all too much to bear_

_And when the night falls in around me_

_I don't think I'll make it through_

_Ill use your light to guide my way_

_Cuz all I think about is you_

_And all these days I spend away_

_Ill make up for this I swear_

_I need your love to hold me up_

_When it's all too much to bear_

_And when the night falls in around me_

_I don't think I'll make it through_

_Use your light to guide the way_

**OOOOOOO-LineBreak-OOOOOOO**

**JACE**

Her skin was soft clean smelling with a hint of cinnamon. It felt sweet and cool against my cheek, a comforting touch that I hadn't felt since my mother.

That realization made me snap my eyes open and jerk away from her hand, heat rising in my face.

Jesus Christ I was actually fucking blushing.

Since when the hell did this happen? I was Jace Lightwood! I didn't BLUSH! I made the GIRLS blush.

We stared at each other for a moment, my face frozen in an awkward surprised look and hers screwed up in contemplation. What the hell was she thinking about?

Red colored her own cheeks the same shade as her hair as she looked back at me, her thoughtful look changing to one of surprise at the force in which I had moved away from her.

"So uh…." I scratched the back of my head, looking around awkwardly "I should probably go…" I finished lamely

She frowned, her eyebrows drawing together and nose scrunching up adorably "O-okay.." She answered, wrapping her arms around herself as her face closed off.

Shit I didn't mean to do that

"Listen Clary….please don't hurt yourself again okay?" I asked softly and her mouth dropped open, her eyes sparking in outrage

"At least call me if you need to okay?" I added hastily before she could start yelling again

I bit my lip and her eyes fell to my mouth, her cheeks turning pink again "Please.' I repeated quietly.

"Fine" She muttered, glaring at me and I had to bite back a smile. Her anger was quite adorable.

"Let me see your phone then so I can give you my number" I said, wondering if she would suspect me of just trying to score a date with her.

To my surprise she handed her phone over without a word and I put my number in, handing it back to her with a slight smile

"I'll see you around Jace" She said after a moment and walked away, her hair swishing across my face as she turned.

I stood there for almost ten minutes, surprised, confused, shocked, and generally at a loss.

I was losing my touch.

**Again, sorry it's so short but I wanted to get at least something aha. So thankyou everyone who's reviewed and followed Through the Mud and Rain! And you who haven't fuck you **


	9. Chapter 9: Everything's Wrong

**I HAD STARTED THIS BUT IT VANISHED GOD DAMNITTT**

**Anyways, go check out my new fanfiction It Takes a Village to Kill a Child. It's AU but has supernatural aspects to it and the chapters so far are turning out to average at least 2k words each soooooooooooooooooooo **

**My computer is overheating because I'm trying to set up a speedpaint video of me drawing Jace. (it's about 4 hours of footage) so everything keeps freezing up and asfhgfjhqefgiueqrgnuierhgiquhfquie**

**Moving on, sorry for the long wait! Life has been kicking my ass recently and it still kinda is haha**

**Hopefully I'll be posting more once summer break starts in two weeks or so**

**So I tried to make this a more lighthearted chapter at first but no matter how hard I tried I just couldn't get the words to come so yeah, sorry that it's still depressing.**

**This time we've got Everything's Wrong by Crossfade**

**OOOOO-LINEBREAK-OOOOO**

_It hurts to be alone in the cell I call my home._

_But it heals me in my mind without you by my side._

_I feel so down and out and you never knew that about me._

_When you fought this all away and now I know it was no mistake._

_But it's all gone. _

_Nothing feels good anymore,_

_everything's wrong yeah!_

_Nothing feels right anymore._

_I'm a slave to my anger,_

_everything holds me down,_

_so I wont try anymore._

_But it's all right. _

_I left without a plan, I knew you would not understand._

_It all builds up to this day, made it too hard along the way._

_I felt so full of doubt at the thought of running out kills me._

_And I kept it close to home but I love being all alone._

_When it's all gone. _

_Nothing feels good anymore,_

_everything's wrong yeah._

_Nothing feels right anymore._

_Im a slave to my anger,_

_everything holds me down._

_So I wont try anymore._

_And im still hanging on and I tried so hard for you._

_And im still holding on and I've tried my best for you. _

_Oh nothing feels good anymore,_

_everything's wrong yeah._

_Nothing feels right anymore._

_I'm a slave to my anger,_

_everything holds me down,_

_so I won't try anymore._

_But it's all right._

**OOOO-LINEBREAK-OOOO**

JACE

Most people could count on one hand the amount of bad scars they had on their body.

Both my fingers and toes weren't enough to count the marks on me.

Not that I was at all self-concious of myself or anything.

But seeing Clary's battered arms, and feeling her cool fingers on the patch of skin I made sure nobody EVER saw made me take a step back and think.

Coming home, I closed the door behind me with a dull thud and listened to see if anyone was home. Hearing nothing, I relaxed and walked up to my room, dropping my soccer gear on the floor as I went straight to the bathroom, taking off my shirt and tossing it into the hamper.

I turned on the shower, letting the water heat up to a scalding temperature before turning and looking at myself in the mirror, resting my hands on the cool marble and pressing down.

I gave my reflection a crooked smile as I examined the many scars marring my skin.

Some where from my dad, and one or two from when he had forced me to participate in his…activities….

But most were from myself or because I wanted someone to hurt me.

The teeth marks on my inner arm where I used to bite to keep in the screams.

Screams that if I let out I was afraid the insanity would finally take control.

The knife wounds from getting into fights in school, going up against hardened street kids with just my bare fists.

So yeah, I guess I kind of understood the desire to hurt oneself to get rid of the pain.

But I deserved these wounds and this pain.

Somehow I doubted the tiny girl in the bathroom deserved what she was doing to herself.

I looked at the hard line of my mouth, the deep scar in my chin from where someone had swung at me with a baseball bat, the one above my eyebrow from my dad throwing a bottle at me.

My golden eyes were cold as ice despite the warm color and I shivered at how much I looked like my father.

I looked like a killer.

**AHH IM SO SORRY IT'S SO SHORT PLEASE DON'T HATE ME I REALLY TRIED REALLY HARD TO WRITE SOMETHING FOR YOU GUYS IM SORRY PLEASE LOVE ME STILL**


End file.
